🦢Swan Lake Ramblings, Pt. 2🏹💗

My January was packed, to begin with, but insert my brain taking twice as long to process what’s in front of me because I’m mentally stuck in my draft, and you have a lovely little disaster.

With the encouraging reception of Pt. 1 of my Swan Lake tirades, here’s the second part for you, fellas!

rambling #7

1/4/2024

I’m stressed. SL has so much potential and could be spectacular if I pull it off.

*distressed swan honks*

Nah, scrap that. Let’s opt for Plan B.

*subtly inserts an unrelated GIF*

ballet and writing

1/31/2024

I’m doing a ballet variation from Swan Lake, and in the class where I started learning it, my teacher told me my character was performing for the guests in the courtyard, and I had to acknowledge the Queen and prince at the start to pay my respects.

It was like a lightbulb dinged over my head.

The timing was immaculate; I’d come to the class stuck on a chapter for SL, but my dance gave me a creative shift in course, served to me on a silver platter. (Is God saying something?!)

Scene: Siegfried follows an inkling, which should lead to a primary plot point, but the suspense falls flat. He was practically ambling around with no strong enough motivation.

What if I switched up the location from the ballroom to the courtyard, where all guests of different ranks were gathered, plopping them smack-dab in the middle of danger—upping the stakes and potential loss? It was perfect!

rambling #8

2/1/2024

I’ve reached a milestone: showing a whopping total of three people my messy first draft. Three!

Throwing the advice of “Never show anyone your first draft” to the wind, I’ve earned an “I LOVE IT” and an “I LIKE IT” from the same person, a “DUDE 18K MY DUDE” from another, and an enthused “SWAN LAKE, SWAN LAKE, SWAN LAKE” chant from the first to have heard the title A Swan Lake Retelling (aka “that writer friend”). And get this—one of them read and reread it, which flatters me to no end, but she did so in an hour or less when I spent months slaving away to hit the 18k mark.

So, you know, whatever.

My soul is at peace.

I’m actually not 100% sure why I shared it when I’m . . . *counts finger* not even 1/3 of the way finished if my estimate is correct, but I needed an ego boost. And when you have kind writer friends who’ll tell you what you want to hear, it’s the perfect equation!

rambling #9

2/3/2024

Oh, to be young and think that 321 words in 20 minutes wasn’t a good run. Now, I can hardly reach 200 in 15 minutes. Because you know what? I’m stubborn.

I’m fully aware that the more efficient, rewarding path is plotting or plantsing, but my brain refuses to cooperate and insists on winging it. Every. Single. Writing session.

I’ve been forwarded articles on how to deal with this by generous people who share my plight, but do I listen? No!

I shouldn’t worry, though. If anything, I should learn that trial and error and a “what’s the worst that could happen?” attitude can bite back. Procrastination, in the long run, is not worth it. I’ve got to get that through my thick skull.

One day.

That is what procrastination is, isn’t it? All sunshine, sparkles, and rainbows.

update

My NaNo profile says SL’s reached 18,793 words, but the Google Doc file where I’m writing the novel says it’s at 19,141 words. We’re believing the Doc, and that’s not just for my ego. Okay? Okay.

• 19,141/60,000 words
• 10,859 words until 1/2 mark

The above list consisted of my NaNo stats in the first series of ramblings, but since I haven’t maintained a streak recently nor regularly updated my stats, I don’t have the same updates to offer. Oopsie.

But I do feel better about this. There was a time when I was bound to my stats and focused less on the writing part of writing. This is healthier, right?

rambling #10

2/6/2024

(sitch: having to incorporate a thingamajig in the story that you know nothing about)

I currently have five tabs open—a Quora, two Google searches, an image, and some other website—all dedicated to crossbow research. I’d have more if I could, but I’m afraid my 8-year-old laptop couldn’t handle it.

So, apparently, you position the weapon on your shoulder when aiming. Unlike the traditional bow and arrow, the crossbow’s string doesn’t need to be drawn back, which means the user doesn’t need to exert as much effort. In practical translation, my flimsy-armed peeps with a passion for bowhunting, this one’s for you!

(I’ve opened three more tabs here.) An arbalest/crossbow was made of wood and later substituted with metal, making it much more fearsome, and consisted of a bolt, sear, and trigger. In its original version, there was a stirrup that the crossbowman put his foot through to stabilize the weapon while he put the bow in.

Do you know what I’m talking about? I sure don’t.

🏹 Pew pew. 🏹 Pew pew pew.🏹

Ugh, why did I spend time playing with PinyPons and Barbies as a child when I could have been finding out about crossbows—

*smacks bloody fingers on random keys in frustration* aekakjdsafhkldhafkakjsdowuiqsjhsakhwoui

(Don’t try that at home. I summoned an app I’ve never opened when I did that.)

*inserts another obscure GIF since no one will notice*

rambling #11

Why, yes, I used a lyric for an actual line of dialogue in my draft. Laziness? Well, I like to call it “reused creativity.” (Copyright? Never heard of him.)

Ha.

Yes, I have lost the will to show anyone else my first draft.

rambling #12

What have I become? Who is this person who listens to classical music by already deceased composers? And of her own volition?!

This is why I’ve been labeled a grandma in various friend groups.

But we don’t gatekeep, so here’s some Rimsky-Korsakov for you.

You’re welcome.

---

Thank you for reading!

This was less relatable than Pt. 1 since it’s just me on the brink of good ol’ sanity. No uplifting ending. No encouraging message this time.

And if you’re wondering why I mentioned “bloody fingers” in the 10th ramblings, that’s because I’d punctured myself with a needle while sewing my pointe shoes before writing that. Five times, on different fingers. But the grind never stops! Huzzah! 🤺⚔

Someone restrain me.

What’s one major roadblock you’re facing with your story? Let’s hear it!

(Why is this post 1,116 words if I don’t have the strength to add 150 to my Doc? 😭)