🦢Swan Lake Ramblings, Pt. 2🏹💗

My January was packed, to begin with, but insert my brain taking twice as long to process what’s in front of me because I’m mentally stuck in my draft, and you have a lovely little disaster.

With the encouraging reception of Pt. 1 of my Swan Lake tirades, here’s the second part for you, fellas!

rambling #7

1/4/2024

I’m stressed. SL has so much potential and could be spectacular if I pull it off.

*distressed swan honks*

Nah, scrap that. Let’s opt for Plan B.

*subtly inserts an unrelated GIF*

ballet and writing

1/31/2024

I’m doing a ballet variation from Swan Lake, and in the class where I started learning it, my teacher told me my character was performing for the guests in the courtyard, and I had to acknowledge the Queen and prince at the start to pay my respects.

It was like a lightbulb dinged over my head.

The timing was immaculate; I’d come to the class stuck on a chapter for SL, but my dance gave me a creative shift in course, served to me on a silver platter. (Is God saying something?!)

Scene: Siegfried follows an inkling, which should lead to a primary plot point, but the suspense falls flat. He was practically ambling around with no strong enough motivation.

What if I switched up the location from the ballroom to the courtyard, where all guests of different ranks were gathered, plopping them smack-dab in the middle of danger—upping the stakes and potential loss? It was perfect!

rambling #8

2/1/2024

I’ve reached a milestone: showing a whopping total of three people my messy first draft. Three!

Throwing the advice of “Never show anyone your first draft” to the wind, I’ve earned an “I LOVE IT” and an “I LIKE IT” from the same person, a “DUDE 18K MY DUDE” from another, and an enthused “SWAN LAKE, SWAN LAKE, SWAN LAKE” chant from the first to have heard the title A Swan Lake Retelling (aka “that writer friend”). And get this—one of them read and reread it, which flatters me to no end, but she did so in an hour or less when I spent months slaving away to hit the 18k mark.

So, you know, whatever.

My soul is at peace.

I’m actually not 100% sure why I shared it when I’m . . . *counts finger* not even 1/3 of the way finished if my estimate is correct, but I needed an ego boost. And when you have kind writer friends who’ll tell you what you want to hear, it’s the perfect equation!

rambling #9

2/3/2024

Oh, to be young and think that 321 words in 20 minutes wasn’t a good run. Now, I can hardly reach 200 in 15 minutes. Because you know what? I’m stubborn.

I’m fully aware that the more efficient, rewarding path is plotting or plantsing, but my brain refuses to cooperate and insists on winging it. Every. Single. Writing session.

I’ve been forwarded articles on how to deal with this by generous people who share my plight, but do I listen? No!

I shouldn’t worry, though. If anything, I should learn that trial and error and a “what’s the worst that could happen?” attitude can bite back. Procrastination, in the long run, is not worth it. I’ve got to get that through my thick skull.

One day.

That is what procrastination is, isn’t it? All sunshine, sparkles, and rainbows.

update

My NaNo profile says SL’s reached 18,793 words, but the Google Doc file where I’m writing the novel says it’s at 19,141 words. We’re believing the Doc, and that’s not just for my ego. Okay? Okay.

• 19,141/60,000 words
• 10,859 words until 1/2 mark

The above list consisted of my NaNo stats in the first series of ramblings, but since I haven’t maintained a streak recently nor regularly updated my stats, I don’t have the same updates to offer. Oopsie.

But I do feel better about this. There was a time when I was bound to my stats and focused less on the writing part of writing. This is healthier, right?

rambling #10

2/6/2024

(sitch: having to incorporate a thingamajig in the story that you know nothing about)

I currently have five tabs open—a Quora, two Google searches, an image, and some other website—all dedicated to crossbow research. I’d have more if I could, but I’m afraid my 8-year-old laptop couldn’t handle it.

So, apparently, you position the weapon on your shoulder when aiming. Unlike the traditional bow and arrow, the crossbow’s string doesn’t need to be drawn back, which means the user doesn’t need to exert as much effort. In practical translation, my flimsy-armed peeps with a passion for bowhunting, this one’s for you!

(I’ve opened three more tabs here.) An arbalest/crossbow was made of wood and later substituted with metal, making it much more fearsome, and consisted of a bolt, sear, and trigger. In its original version, there was a stirrup that the crossbowman put his foot through to stabilize the weapon while he put the bow in.

Do you know what I’m talking about? I sure don’t.

🏹 Pew pew. 🏹 Pew pew pew.🏹

Ugh, why did I spend time playing with PinyPons and Barbies as a child when I could have been finding out about crossbows—

*smacks bloody fingers on random keys in frustration* aekakjdsafhkldhafkakjsdowuiqsjhsakhwoui

(Don’t try that at home. I summoned an app I’ve never opened when I did that.)

*inserts another obscure GIF since no one will notice*

rambling #11

Why, yes, I used a lyric for an actual line of dialogue in my draft. Laziness? Well, I like to call it “reused creativity.” (Copyright? Never heard of him.)

Ha.

Yes, I have lost the will to show anyone else my first draft.

rambling #12

What have I become? Who is this person who listens to classical music by already deceased composers? And of her own volition?!

This is why I’ve been labeled a grandma in various friend groups.

But we don’t gatekeep, so here’s some Rimsky-Korsakov for you.

You’re welcome.

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Thank you for reading!

This was less relatable than Pt. 1 since it’s just me on the brink of good ol’ sanity. No uplifting ending. No encouraging message this time.

And if you’re wondering why I mentioned “bloody fingers” in the 10th ramblings, that’s because I’d punctured myself with a needle while sewing my pointe shoes before writing that. Five times, on different fingers. But the grind never stops! Huzzah! 🤺⚔

Someone restrain me.

What’s one major roadblock you’re facing with your story? Let’s hear it!

(Why is this post 1,116 words if I don’t have the strength to add 150 to my Doc? 😭)

🦢Swan Lake Ramblings🏹💗

Drafted and Forgotten: 12/22/2023

Yep, Swan Lake. That WIP I started earlier this year and didn’t take seriously at first. I am now working to complete it to say I wrote a novel once in my lifetime.

Boy, did all those articles I read do nothing to prepare me for the absolute joy and horror of writing the first draft. 11 chapters in, I’ve executed virtually zero out of a thousand things I aim to convey. The high of typing the words on the keyboard; the low of accidentally rereading your brain barf and finding a million and one plot holes. The bursts you get after imagining what its polished version would look like. The slumps where you can’t get more than 300 words on the page in one sitting—it’s different when you actually experience it.

In short, the journey’s been wild, you guys.

I’ve wanted to share glimpses of the bumpy ride for a while, but they didn’t come out enough for the regular length of a blog post each, and I didn’t think you’d like reading two sentences passed up as a post.

But I delivered! I scrounged up a few to reach a reasonable length, so I hope you enjoy it.

rambling #1

The frustration of knowing who your characters are to the T and dying to show your audience how lovable or horrible they are when you’re not yet at the scene where there’s the reader’s determining that “Oh, yeah, I definitely like/hate him/her” hits hard.

update

I created a NaNo account to track my progress and force myself to reach deadlines to form some semblance of achievement. The most recent deadline I’ve been working on is hitting the 30K mark by December 31, which was a foolish decision. It’s the Christmas season, and I can’t—cannot—lose my streak. I have relatives from abroad coming over, impromptu trips, school deadlines, and what was I thinking?!

But it wasn’t too terrible an idea because yesterday I came home at 11PM after going to a theme park where I realized my athleticism needs a lot of work (but I’ll deal with that later; right now, I need to shut myself in a room and just write—) and attending a family dinner get-together. I was dead tired but slogged away for 20 minutes and got 321 words onto the page, so yay. That’s 321 words closer to The End. *fist punches air weakly*

NaNo Stats as of December 24 (in the website’s words)

• “total words: 13948/30000”
• “8 days in a row”
• “The early bird gets the worm! You write the most between 11:00AM and 12:00PM!”
• “You’ve written mostly at home!”
• “On average, you write 181 words per day!”
• “At this rate, you’ll be done on March 23, 2024!” (Ouch.)
• “Your average writing speed is 10 words per minute!”
• “Nice! Looks like you felt pretty good working on this goal!”

The NaNo site has got to be perky and overuse its exclamation points while it reminds me of how much the opposite of on-time I am with my novel, huh? Isn’t that fun?

My profile: https://nanowrimo.org/participants/brebs

rambling #2

I don’t recall when I realized Swan Lake would essentially be a romance fantasy story if I played my cards right, but I did some time ago. I was this close to abandoning it. 🤏 A tiny pinch. But I pep-talked myself out of it and discovered my aversion to romance was a front. Those romance novels I’ve been reading did something, after all.

Oh, but writing a romance is a whole different story. I don’t know how I feel about that.

confession

Fantasy is tiring to write. Thank goodness I’m only learning the ropes because I’ll turn over in my grave before releasing this less than a decade after I finish the draft and improve myself as a writer. And the improvement must make you guys gasp and wonder if it’s even me.

I’m serious. I think.

It’s imperfect. So much so that I hardly even glance at the words as I type them because I have to get it over with while I’m still in the fEeLz.

rambling #3

Writing is messy. I once woke up believing I’d finished writing a chapter, only to discover I did . . . but in my head.

Internal pain. Suffering. Tears I shed in my imagination.

RIP to that chapter because I’m avoiding getting it done at all possible costs for no justifiable reason.

rambling #4

I’m bound to that streak. It’s Duolingo all over again. (Plot twist! After I lost my 52-day streak, he captured me, and I’ve been writing from his basement ever since. I can hear his flippers waddling in threat above me. SOS!)

rambling #5

The pain of knowing those who meet your children, or, er, I mean, characters, might not love them as much as you do is unbearable. 🤧 I’ve nursed these people into being, you heartless creatures. What more dost thou require?!

rambling #6

Looking back at previous chapters, I noticed that my writing style changed. (That’s looking back, but not reading through it since my ego has endured enough already. Thank you very much.)

The (tedious? lengthy?) journey to finalize this reads like a fictitious documentation of my growth as a writer, which makes it painful to even skim through, but nevertheless. I remember updating my Docs right after getting discouraged from a ballet class and working on it cheered me right up.

Maybe even if I don’t finish this by my set time, I’ll leave with something I worked hard on—finished or unfinished, polished or unpolished.

But I’ve come too far to even try giving up. And I have an issue with giving up, so in your face, procrastination!

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Thank you for reading!

And after that venting, this is still pretty short. Man, I should write down my weird ramblings when they come.

Let me know if I should do a part two with those and some others coz your friendly blogger here has much work to do this ho-ho-holiday season. 😛

PS I’ve been out of practice, and you’ve probably noticed. Oopsie. Sorry if this flowed more chunkily than my other posts. I’m working to release better and more consistent content, so don’t you worry, my fine fellows.

PPS It’s giving Tumblr, not gonna lie.

My WIP Updates

You know those moments when you just don’t want to create? The inspiration is uninspiring, and the motivation unmotivating. You just lay motionless, waiting for something to happen.

I’m experiencing it now. Making myself start writing this took a lot of coaxing. It’s hard to combat, and sometimes the answer is stepping back for a bit.

If you assumed that this was a hiatus announcement, think again! You…probably didn’t because of the title. Yeah, I have to work on my subtlety. Next time.

The other sometimes is looking back at what you have done for encouragement. I can’t do that because I haven’t finished any writing projects I’ve begun yet. But I initiated stuff, which is better than nothing, right? Right?

If you’re curious, stick around for glimpses into my less-than-half-formed WIPs.

The ✨Glimpses✨

1. Swan Lake (a novella…hopefully)

Description: 🏹🦢👑🌒🧙🏻‍♂️

Stage: Drafting (Planning isn’t complete yet, so what possessed me to start is beyond me.)

Completed Chapters: 3, currently in 4

Characters

• Main: Prince Siegfried, Princess Odette
• Major: Axel, King Christoph, Queen Uberta, King William

Goal(s): 15+ chapters • over 20,000 words • succeeding in writing from a narrator’s POV • giving Siegfried and Odette’s relationship some much-needed depth (as compared to their The Swan Princess counterparts)

Related: What’s Your WIP? (in which you will find a blurb, a snippet, and other important things)

Extra Info

The moment you realize your so-called “original work” is nothing more than fanfic of a specific Swan Princess movie…

…is not a pleasant moment. My apologies to anyone who thought I could pull that off. Original work. Ha, hilarious.

I’m a baby writer, so I’ll jump for joy if this first attempt at a novella passes 10,000 words. Don’t expect…a plot. Or do expect it and then be disappointed. But in truth, the only reason anyone would read till the end would be for the action, not my sorry, unpolished writing.

Enough self-deprecation for now. Moving on.

2. That One Fantasy Story I’ve Been Planning for Forever (novel?)

Description: 🗺🤝🏻🍂🚢⚔

Blurb:

The village electing her father as chief changed a lot of lives: her father’s, her family’s, and her own. Nothing changed, they said. They were wrong; everything did. An ever-increasing burden of pressure was laid on Alessia’s shoulders—she has to be the best. She has to prove herself. When the opportunity to go on a quest affecting not only her village but the surrounding ones, friend or foe, is presented to her, she grabs at it. So what if her father doesn’t know? She’s assembled her little band of coworkers, the best of the best: Brielle—her sharp, analytical, and strategical best friend, Sienna—the history buff with access to forbidden maps, and Zed—the self-claimed tech whiz with a sense of humor. Everything will fall into the plan, the plan she’s planning to make sometime in the future. So, imagine her dismay to having to work with a stowaway, a spy, from a neighboring tribe, with which they weren’t on good terms. How’d her life become such a mess?

It’s pretty vague, but it’ll become something one day.

Stage: Planning

Characters

• Main: Alessia
• Major: Marcos, Brielle, Sienna, Zed

Goal(s): 30+ chapters • over 30,000 words • developing the individual characters • *gulp* pulling off the hero hating herself and finding peace at the end arc • Enemies to Lov- say what? Who said? Huh?… Ignore that. • and other stuff

Storytime

If you’re like me, you were too lazy to read the blurb. Chunky paragraphs induce headaches.

To summarize, my MC—Alessia—is a troubled girl; she goes on a quest with friends; an enemy was there (a “there” I will not disclose) before they set off and has to come. Gasp. Originality and articulateness abound.

I haven’t got a plot, but, funny thing, I’ve been brainstorming on this since last year. How sad is that?!

And yes, we are equipping children to do such outrageous things. Perfect!

3. Oh my goodness, I still haven’t finished that “Prompt to Paper” anecdote (a short story)

I’m taking this opportunity to apologize for not yet posting this. It’s not professional or ethical.

I have—How do I say this?—given up on it. So, either someone requests me to complete it, or you, my dear reader, refresh this post once or twice to see what the outline was for the rest of it. No, this isn’t an attempt to get more views. I’m being serious. (Do the second one! Do the second one! ~your conscience)

Edit: Never mind, I’ve made it easy.

2. The Clark family is on a kalesa, exploring the walled city. Adam—their charming tour guide with impressive fluency in English—gets along with Dad just fine and regards all sites with respect. He claims they’re ancient, and Thomas can’t help but agree as the carriage’s horse trots past a historically significant Starbucks.

• Don and Angelo sit among other POWs (Prisoners of War) in the stench-filled dungeons of Fort Santiago. If the Japanese officials wouldn’t kill them, they would easily suffocate with such little air circulation. Don worries about Angelo. “That gash won’t make surviving much easier.” But Angelo convinces Don that whatever happens…happens. With nothing else to do but count the segundos till they die, Don shares his cigarette pack with his cellmates. A Japanese soldier calls him to come out and follow him. There was business to be done.

3. Thom and company return after strolling around Baluerte de San Diego. Marie (his sister) thought it was pretty, and he genuinely agrees that the site was interesting, more so after Dad gives some insight. Thom gets jittery after finding out they had one last stop: Fort Santiago. They reach there as quickly as he’d hoped, and Adam tells them all about how American and Filipino soldiers died there due to suffocation and the heat. Thom is moved and asks if his grandpa might’ve died there. Dad says it was his own great-grandpa, Thom’s great-great-grandpa. Thom is silent for the rest of the travel. He asks his dad if they could visit again sometime.

Goodness me, I feel so evil.

4. Some Unimportant Fanfics

Descriptions: 1. 🥼🥽🤦🏼‍♀️🕷🕸 , 2. 🌬🍃👩🏻👻📿🌊

Which begs the question: Should I get an AO3 account? We’ll see.

Share in the comments how you feel about certain platforms where fanfics are regularly published. (AO3, Fanfiction.Net, Wattpad, etc.) Which do you prefer? Which gave you the best experience? The worst? Any advice is appreciated!

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Thank you for reading!

And come back next time oooooooon CKJ!